Within the Family
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Communication skills are very important in all aspects of our daily lives from interacting with customers and staff in a work environment to understanding the ways and methods of communicating and understanding those in our close family and friends. Without good communication skills we can often be misunderstood, create difficulties, mistrust and generally make life more difficult for ourselves and those with which we wish to communicate. Good communication is the key to any good relationship, but family communication is especially important because of the intimacy level. Do you regularly get together to talk about problems and let each other know how much you are loved and appreciated? Or is your idea of family communication nodding to one another as you pass in the hallway on the way to the bathroom? Your family communication style sets the tone for how family members interact with the rest of society, the workplace, school mates, and future relationships.
Building Strong Family Relationships
1. Our society thrives on strong families. …
2. Strong families have good communication. …
3. To build strong family relationships, listen actively to each other. …
4. Use “I” messages rather than “You” messages when talking. …
5. Encourage all family members to share their thoughts and feelings. …
6. Strong families spend time together.
1. Create Opportunities for talking. It is no secret that most of us are overworked, overcommitted and over scheduled. Parents rush home from a long day at the office to pick up their children from daycare on the way to soccer practice, piano. Make time for talking by reducing the number of activities your family is involved in each week. Your children will not be harmed if they cut their extra-curricular activities to two or three instead four or five, and the time it frees up for communication will be invaluable. If you find yourself in the car running from place to place, make a point to turn the radio off, ask the teenager to turn the cell phone off and use that opportunity for catching up on the day’s activities. If necessary, schedule an appointment with your family for having a conversation. Extremely busy people have the need to schedule everything, including their leisure time. You wouldn’t think twice about making an appointment at the hair salon or spa, so why not do the same with your greatest priorities like family?
2. Insist on Family Meals In addition to bringing everyone together for a wrap up of the day’s activities, family meals insure that your kids are eating at least one healthy meal during their busy schedules. While it might not be possible to eat dinner together every night, insisting on family meals at least three nights a week, with one a standing appointment, creates ritual and routine that kids come to expect and look forward to. Use the family dinner table as an opportunity to relax and share what’s going on in family members’ lives. Do not consider your children a captive audience by lecturing while eating dinner. Make a habit of serving dessert during family meals to encourage people to stay seated longer and keep the conversation going. If possible, eliminate distractions such as the television or answering the telephone. Once your children realize that they are more important to you than the news or whoever is on the phone, they will readily share their innermost thoughts.
3. Highs and Lows Going around the room and asking each person to share the high and low points of their day is an excellent way to build family communication. Something that your child didn’t even know was bothering him might come out as a low point. At the same time, this might be your opportunity to learn your son was chosen student of the day by his teacher, a ceremonial honor that does not include a certificate, crown or official recognition.
4. Remember the 80/20 Rule Listening is more important than talking when trying to improve family communication. Listen four times longer than you speak. Likewise, think twice about what you say, before you say it. Sometimes a parent’s first reaction is to rant and scream, especially to negative news. Do your best to avoid this and if you do verbally explode before your child is finished, apologize quickly and assure him or her that you are now ready to listen.